You didn't fucking slip, you CHOSE to use!

One of my biggest pet peeves is the term "slip". What? Did you walk down the street, slip on a banana peel and fall on a syringe full of heroin? Are you fucking serious? You CHOSE to put that shit in your system!

A man takes his mother to work, where she makes a couple dollars above minimum wage, drops her off, then proceeds to sell things that belong to her to supply his addiction. What do you get out of that? Don't you feel guilty? I could never look at myself in the mirror if I stole from my own family in order to stick a needle in my fucking arm! Yes, I'm using the f-word a lot today, but I'm angry. I'm beyond angry, I'm irate!

What makes an addict think it's okay to take things that don't belong to them all so they don't get "dope sick"? I've never heard of a cancer patient stealing in order to pay for their chemo treatments, yet their disease is truly that....a disease. Please stop referring to addictions as diseases...call them what they are, addictions, weaknesses, your own fucking making!

I've never stuck a needle in my arm, nor popped an illegal pill, nor smoked anything other than a cigarette. I don't even smoke anymore! You have to make a conscious decision to use drugs, to put something in your body in order to get high. Why the hell do you want to feel out of control of your own mind and body?

Back to the slipping thing...you chose to stand up, put your shoes on, get in the car, make the phone call, and drive to the location (which is usually nowhere near your home) to purchase the drug, which you then inserted into your arm. That's not slipping...that's choosing to be a fucking junkie!

Don't Love Them To Death

I've been racking my brain as to how to format this blog, then I thought...why format it at all? If this is going to be a place to learn and vent, why use any form of structure to something that has none?

I want this blog to be for us all, not just about me. This blog should be about all of us, our experiences, and how we deal. I know I have no 'followers' yet, but hopefully, enough people will find this page and participate.

Here's my first piece of advice, although I've yet to use it myself (I give good advice, but that doesn't mean I always follow it)...don't love them to death. That's a line a good friend of mine said after her brother died from an overdose on prescription medication. Yep. He wasn't even using illegally, just using too much.

So, then how do we pull away without constantly living in fear that the next time we talk to them may be the last? Personally, every time certain family members call I hold my breath, terrified they're calling to tell me my brother's dead. I keep telling myself to just pretend he's already dead, but that doesn't work...trust me.

Here's the part where you sound off...have you already loved them to death? Have you pulled away from the addict, or are you holding on as tightly as possible?

This Shit Isn't Supposed to Happen to My Family...

Isn't that what we all say? Or how about 'it won't happen to my family'? Have you said that one? Yeah, me too. In fact, I still say it...every time I think it can't get any worse.

I'm the sister of a heroin addict. Actually, I'm the everything of just about every kind of addict. There's addictions on all sides of me, excluding my husband and children. I continuously scour the Web looking for information and what do I get? Information the addict wants you to know...don't panic, assist with bills, don't give cash. Great. Now, what are we supposed to do to keep our sanity?

Hence the blog. Let's pull our resources, throw lifelines out to each other and figure out how to survive a heroin addict.